


Notes from Paran

by rae_marie



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Dark Eyes, Gen, sarcasm abounds, two completely different characters thrown together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:56:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rae_marie/pseuds/rae_marie
Summary: The Master would have taken over the planet by now....if only he hadn't gotten thrown in the dungeon. And then there were the death traps. And a sarcastic human who also wanted to escape.





	Notes from Paran

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Floptopus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Floptopus/gifts), [Gaz042](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaz042/gifts), [thetransgirlwhoneverwas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetransgirlwhoneverwas/gifts).



> Thank you to my three friends who helped me sort out the mess of a draft I had, and encouraged me to keep going. You guys are the best. :)

_TO: CELESTIAL INTERVENTION AGENCY HEADQUARTERS_

_FROM: AGENT KAPPA CHI_

_FORMAT: AUDIO AND HANDWRITTEN NOTES_

_COORDINATES: 10-0-11-00:02 FROM GALACTIC ZERO CENTRE_

*****

So! I'm sending this report, as you wanted, Narvin, but it'll _hardly_ report what you want it to.

Let me start at the beginning. I had just escaped the pathetic prison cell the guards had put me in, and was running down the hall, when I heard someone shouting, or possibly screaming, in terror and indignation. I considered whether or not I should just keep going, but the idea that something of significance might be happening down there seemed too important to leave behind, so I turned and ran down the slope in the passageway....

Oh, this is getting nowhere. I'm just going to go to Note One.

*****

* _NOTE ONE_ *

The door flung open and someone shrieked as the door flung back.

'Hello, there!' the Master shouted. 'What seems to be the - '

He stopped short when he saw the creature in the corner.

'Giant gecko - gonna eat me - and that _hurt_....' came a voice from behind the door. A human crawled out from behind it. The Master frowned; perhaps she would be useful in solving this dilemma he was in. He helped her up.

'Come along; out the door!' he said, and slammed it behind them. The human was shaking her head.

'I dunno what that was, but I don't like it,' she said.

'How did you get in there in the first place?' the Master asked.

'I was in a cell, and I tried to get out through a heating duct, and I just sorta fell in.'

'Yes, but how did you get _here_ in the first place? You aren't exactly Paranian.'

'I was arrested.' 

The creature started banging on the door.

'Uhh....suppose we go?' she said. The Master nodded and started off up the passageway.

'Come along, then!' he called. He needed to know more about this human. Something didn't seem right.

'So who are ya', then?' the human asked. The Master straightened a little.

'I am.... _the Master_.'

The human laughed.

*****

Yes! Can you believe that? She _laughed_ \- actually _laughed_ when I said that! And then when I asked her why, and what _her_ name was, she had the audacity to say, 'Just call me Jack - as in Jack of all Trades, because you're obviously the Master of None!' Infernal humans; who do they think they are? Pathetic, ridiculous.... Oh, never mind. Back to the notes.

Oh - she said her name was 'Lucie Miller', by the way.

*****

* _NOTE TWO_ *

'So how did _you_ end up here?' Lucie Miller asked. The Master waved a hand.

'Oh, you know....trying to overthrow a government; that sort of thing. I....ah.... _persuaded_ the guard to let me out of the cell I was in.' _Wouldn't do to tell her I hypnostised him and then shrunk him to a sixteenth of his size when he returned my TCE_ , he thought.

Lucie was grinning. 'That's how I got arrested, too. Maybe we can overthrow the government together?'

The Master looked at her with a smile. This was working out better than he'd hoped.

'I don't see why not,' he said. 'That is....unless you're a _spy?_ '

'Would I tell you if I was?'

 _So she isn't completely stupid_ , the Master thought.

They turned a corner, and there was a door with an exit sign. Lucie grinned and reached for the doorknob.

'Wait - you probably shouldn't open it,' the Master said. Lucie laughed.

'Oh, I do this kind of thing all the time; don't worry!' She turned the knob before the Master could stop her, and the door opened on the second giant gecko of the day, which happened to jump right on Lucie.

The Master reached in his inner coat pocket and drew the TCE. He wasn't going to lose this golden opportunity to have someone actually be on his side and willing to cooperate. He fired off a shot at the creature, and it let go. He fired again, shrinking it down all the way, and then calmly switched the weapon off.

Lucie stared.

'We need to keep moving,' the Master said.

'I've seen a lotta things, but I can't say I've ever seen an _actual_ shrink ray before,' she said. 'Thanks.' She got up and dusted herself off, and turned to face the Master. 'You're right. We need to keep going.'

'This way,' the Master said. He turned down the passageway to the left.

*****

We encountered a few other death traps after that; there were two trapdoors, and then another trap where I really started to notice little sparks of intelligence from Lucie Miller.

*****

* _NOTE THREE_ *

They ran away as the herd of carnivorous rodents chased them. Lucie was fumbling in her bag for something.

'I doubt you'll find anything useful in there!' the Master shouted as he fired off several shots over his shoulder. There were a few squeaks to indicate he'd hit his targets, but they were still coming fast and thick, and there was no chance he could shoot them all before they caught up with them.

Lucie pulled a parchment-wrapped object out of her bag and threw it at the rodents. They rushed, eerily synchronous, to the object and started devouring it.

'It was a ham sandwich! _Run!_ ' Lucie shouted before the Master could say anything.

They ran down a side-corridor and stopped so she could catch her breath. The Master studied Lucie sidelong for a minute.

'You know, Ms Miller, that was rather quick thinking on your part.'

'Thank you,' she gasped. 'Would rather have not been in the situation in the first place, but oh well!'

The Master nodded, and wondered if he could hypnotise her quickly enough for her not to notice and put up a fight. If he wasn't careful, she might figure out what he was doing here, and he didn't want to take that risk.

'We should probably keep going,' she said.

'Mm. Probably.'

She straightened from leaning against the wall. 'Don't want those rats coming back for dessert.' She started down the passageway.

'Oh - Ms Miller, can you look at something for a moment?' the Master said, following her.

'Sure! What is - AAAHHH!'

The Master sprung forward just in time to stop her from falling down the hole. Slowly, he backed them up, away from the trapdoor opening, and then let her go.

'They could be anywhere,' she said. 'We're really gonna have to watch out for those.'

The Master frowned. This was not right. He'd have to tread carefully, though.

'Ms Miller, you rather seem to be unfazed by all this,' he said. She laughed, a little nervously.

'Well when you live the life _I_ do, you kinda get used to it.' The Master raised an eyebrow.

'Oh? How do you mean?'

'Well I travel with this bloke called the Doctor, and we run into a lotta stuff like this.'

*****

That's right. _The Doctor_. I suppose it was inevitable, really - a planet in political turmoil; a mysterious human shows up who had been trying to overthrow the government - it had the Doctor written all over it. She went on to explain that they had been separated at the Supreme Fortress and that's how she'd ended up being arrested. We continued on down the passageway, and I wondered once again if I should try to put her under mesmeric control sooner rather than later. Besides, If she was with the Doctor, there would be _extra_ advantages to her being under my control.... But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Once again, I was interrupted in my attempt to do so by _another_ security measure the Paranians had installed in their dungeon.

*****

* _NOTE FOUR_ *

The floor in front of them exploded, and they were thrown back by the shockwave.

'Mines,' the Master said, rising slowly. 'They must be hidden under the floor in this section.' He took out the TCE and set it to scan. It beeped madly when he aimed it in the direction of where the floor had just erupted. Very carefully, he stepped forward and peered into the crater.

There were ripped wires everywhere, and he could see several loose mines sticking out of the sides of the crater. He frowned and switched the TCE back to another setting.

'What're ya doing?' Lucie called.

'Trying to deactivate a few of the mines; they might come in handy.' He finished, and switching off the TCE, leaned over and gingerly pried three mines out of the rock.

He backed up and turned back to Lucie.

'How're we gonna use them?' she asked. He looked her straight in the eyes, and her expression went slightly blank.

'You will not use them against _me_ , do you understand?' he said.

'I will not use the bombs against you,' she mumbled, and he nodded.

'Very good!' he shouted, and Lucie's expression snapped back to normal. There really wasn't time for anything more than that right now. 'We'll use them against any other predators that might be waiting for us here. They'll only activate if you press the green button, so they're perfectly safe. You'll have about five seconds to throw them after you press the button; remember that, Ms Miller.' He handed her one of the mines and pocketed the other two. She studied it, then laughed.

'You can just call me Lucie, ya know,' she said. She looked up from the mine, and the Master nodded.

'Very well, then, Lucie; we should keep going.'

They continued on for a while in silence; keeping watch for any dangers.

After about a minute, Lucie whispered, 'So if _you_ aren't from Paran, why were _you_ trying to overthrow the government?'

'I could ask you that as well,' the Master said, knowing full well the answer would probably have the word 'Doctor' in it.

'Well the Doctor and I do an awful lot of overthrowing evil regimes and the like. We travel together, righting wrongs; helping people....ya know. Stuff like that.'

There was a mechanical clanking ahead of them, and they backed up. A robot tromped into view, powering up a laser gun and aiming it at them.

Quicker than he would've given her credit for before, Lucie yanked the mine out of her pocket, pressed the green button, and flung it at the robot.

' _Go back to Oz, Tin Man!_ ' she shouted, and the mine beeped.

The Master dove for a corner, simultaneously shoving Lucie into it. The mine detonated, and shards of metal flew in all directions, barely missing the corner they were crouching in.

There was silence for a moment, then the Master let out a long breath. That had been far too close.

'That was close,' Lucie said, making him cringe a little. 'I _did not expect_ the metal to fling out that far.'

'For future reference,' the Master said, trying to hold back his alarm and frustration, 'the more explosive the bomb, the more dangerous it is. Still. That was _also_ rather quick thinking, and I congratulate you on that.'

Lucie slowly started to get up, and the Master stood. He looked around and noticed a small passageway to the left of where the robot had fallen. It seemed to have been opened by the explosion, and he could smell outdoor air funnelling through it.

'It appears you have found the way out after all, Ms Lucie Miller,' he said.

*****

I was quite surprised by this. Random chance rarely ever opens up opportunities that good, and I was soon reminded of that fact when, as I strode towards the opening, the ground suddenly gave way and I realised I had triggered one of the trapdoors. I barely had time to hope I didn't land on the pocket carrying the mines, when I stopped falling and realised someone was trying to pull me back up. A voice above me said, ' _Ugghh_ why'd ya have to be so heavy?' I looked up and saw that it was actually Ms Miller trying to haul me out of the hole.

*****

* _NOTE FIVE_ *

The Master, now able to swing around to hold onto something, grabbed onto the edge of the hole and swung himself up on the other side as Lucie let go of his arm. She leaped over the hole to join him.

'Thank you,' the Master said. 'I suppose you saved my life just then.'

'No problemo.' Lucie nodded her head towards the passage. 'Think we should get going?'

'Yes.'

They continued towards the smell of fresh air, and sooner than they realised, they were out of the building and walking in the grass. They both laughed. Lucie cheered.

The Master looked around and tried to figure out where they were. The Supreme Fortress was closer than it had been before, and next to it sat a blue police box. Lucie grinned and put her hands to her mouth to shout.

The Master clapped a hand over her mouth.

'MMM!!! MM-MM- _MMMMMM!!!!!_ '

He had a feeling he probably didn't want to know what she'd just said.

' _Shut up!_ ' he hissed. 'We have to be even more cautious now that we're within earshot of the castle.' He removed his hand and Lucie glared at him.

'I was tryin'a call the _Doctor_ over, you - '

*****

It turns out that Ms Miller had a rather large vocabulary of insults, and I shan't bore you with the details of what they were; just suffice it to say it was rather unpleasant. I nearly forgot the need for keeping my voice down, and was _this close_ to....ha.... _reducing the noise_....but I restrained myself and resorted to merely whispering ' _Will you shut up?_ ', which, really, was a lot less then she deserved. She eventually stopped trying to annoy me and started looking around at the place we were in as well.

*****

* _NOTE SIX_ *

'I dunno how we'll get back in the Fortress without getting caught again,' Lucie said.

'Oh, leave that to me,' the Master replied. 'I can be quite persuasive. Which reminds me....' He turned to face her. 'Lucie, would you look at something for a moment?'

'Yeah, sure! What?' 

The Master pointed at his eyes. 'My eyes.' Lucie looked up.

'Your eyes? Did you hurt them in the fall....' she trailed off as she locked eyes with him and he felt her mind crumple under his.

'That's better. Now. You will obey me, Lucie Miller.' He smiled; she wouldn't be calling him all sorts of unpleasant things now.

'I will obey you,' she mumbled.

' _Good_. Now what you are going to do, is you are going to follow me into the Fortress, and when we are inside, you will distract the guards while I find the Imperial and assassinate him. You won't run away if your life is threatened, after all; this is all for a good cause, and you wouldn't want to impede a good cause, would you now, Lucie?'

'No, Master,' she said.

' _Excellent_. And if you survive this coup, you will go back to the Doctor's TARDIS, and you will allow me to follow you inside, do you understand?'

'I will let you inside.'

' _Perfect_.' Actually, the Master couldn't believe quite how perfect it was. He started off towards the Fortress, beckoning Lucie to follow him, which she did, and they had made it all the way to the gate when the trumpets blew.

*****

I suppose I should have expected _that_ as well, but _really_ , it isn't _every_ day that you have perfect mesmeric control over someone and then royal trumpets snap them out of it. We were surrounded by guards in a heartsbeat, and Lucie Miller was spluttering and yelling at me again.

*****

* _NOTE SEVEN_ *

'Oi! Were you tryin'a _hypnotise me!?_ ' Lucie shouted. The Master sighed.

'We're surrounded by Imperial guards about to execute us, Lucie, I _hardly_ think this is the time for indignation.' He looked at the guards in front of them.

'Well? Is that what you're here for? I really wouldn't try anything like that if I were you.'

'We already locked you up once,' the Captain said. 'We won't take the risk that you'll escape again. He cocked his gun; he was the only one with a gun; all the rest had swords. The Master chuckled.

'It ain't funny,' Lucy hissed.

'Any last wishes?' another guard said.

'Yeah - how 'bout you - '

' _THANK_ you, Ms Miller, I shall take it from here!' The Master straightened. ' _I_ happen to have a last request. Allow me to get something rather important to me out of my pocket.'

*****

For some reason, the Captain _nodded_. He must've been completely dense as to not expect a trap; I don't know what he was _thinking_. Well, I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I reached in my coat pocket, and drew the TCE. Ms Miller gasped, and I shushed her.

*****

* _NOTE EIGHT_ *

'What is that thing?' one of the guards asked. 'Some sort of flashlight?'

'No; it's something that rather diminishes any threats,' the Master said. He fired it at the Captain.

When the screaming had stopped, the Master aimed the TCE at the one next to the fallen Captain.

'If you don't let us go, I will take you all out, one by one,' he said. 'And don't think you can get to me with your swords on time. I have rather fast reflexes.'

The guard stared at the TCE, pale. He shook his head, then looked up at his men and shouted,

'Fall back! Let them pass, but not into the Supreme Fortress!'

The guards pulled back and surrounded the Fortress entrance. The Master sighed, and moved away towards the Doctor's TARDIS. Just as he'd hoped, he could hear Lucie running after him.

'Oi! Oi! You! Get away from the Doctor's TARDIS!'

'You're very welcome for me saving your life.' He stopped, and Lucie came running up to him.

'I don't trust you at all,' she snapped. 'Get away from the TARDIS and go back to where you came from! I'm not letting you anywhere near the Doctor!'

The Master chuckled. 'Oh, but you will, Ms Miller. You will obey me, and you will let me - '

He was cut off when she slapped him.

*****

I was so stunned that I didn't know what to do. It was then that the door to the TARDIS opened, and the Doctor's infuriating face looked 'round the doorframe. From his perspective, I hadn't run into this incarnation before, but from _my_ perspective - which is all that matters right now, I'll have you know - we _had_ met already, and believe you me; I -

Oh, never mind; back to the note.

*****

* _NOTE NINE_ *

'Oh. You.' The Doctor frowned. 'What are you doing here?'

'He was tryin'a get into the TARDIS, Doctor!' Lucie called. 'I think he hypnotised me before, too!'

The Master aimed the TCE at Lucie over his shoulder. 'That's quite enough of that,' he said. 'Now. Doctor. You will let me into your TARDIS, or I will kill Ms Miller here.'

The Doctor squinted. 'Isn't yours working?'

'That isn't the issue.' He switched on the TCE.

'Wait; wait.' The Doctor shook his head, and the Master lowered the TCE. 'I can't let you into my TARDIS, but if it's some sort of technical thing you need, I can give you pieces.'

The Master raised an eyebrow.

'Are you - '

But he didn't finish, because Lucie had run up from behind him and slammed into him hard enough to knock him over. She ran to the TARDIS door and grinned out at him.

'Hope we don't meet again, Master-of-None!' she called. The Doctor smirked as she ran inside.

'You know, I really will give you the parts you need, as long as you aren't planning on killing anyone with them,' the Doctor said. 'I may be angry at you for what you did last time, but just between you, me, and the lamppost.... _I always help out a friend in trouble_.'

The Master got up slowly, and looked at the Doctor.

'Is this a trick?' he asked.

'Not at all. What do you need?

*****

In the end, he gave me the components for this space-time telegraph and I was on my way. I _did_ end up overthrowing the government here, but not for very long before the Paranians chased me out of the Fortress. So I'm here, writing and recording the message, and want you to know that your idea _failed_ , Narvin. Not only did I take advantage of your mission of sending me to convince the Paranians to fight alongside the Time Lords, I also was stopped in my _subversion_ of your mission, so really there is nothing left for you here. You lose, so I win.

I'll be going off to sort out the Eminence, now. Don't try to follow me. I won't let you stop me; remember that.

I will wring every last drop of usefulness out of this Time War if I have to, and I won't stop until the Universe is under my control.

And that Universe includes you, Narvin.

Goodbye.

*****

* _RECORDING ENDS_ *

*****


End file.
